KH crack ficlet express
by black-n-white-stockings
Summary: Rating to cover anything that I may write. Short ficlets about whatever crack my mind finds. Any pairings are fair game. Covers KH, KH2, and possibly Chain of Memories in the future. Count on Riku. A lot.
1. Starts with S

**Kingdom Hearts 2**

Spoilers: Just for the first game (sort of) and kind of a little one of the first cut-scenes in the second. But if you haven't played the second, I'm not ruining anything for you plot-worthy.

Pairing: aha, it's a surprise.aka SxR, hints at RoxasxAxel

Disclaimer: While one of my best friend's literally DOES own 13 of Disney, I do not. Which is really a shame…..I have so many ideas…(no i did not make that up, her dad really does...insane right?)

A/N: this is all going to be crack. I was feeling sad for not having time to update my fics, and randomly wrote about 3 little ficlets when I was supposed to be writing a major term paper. So enjoy, and feel free to not be impressed.

/ihateapussomuchsoheresafictogetmymindoffofithopeyouenjoy/

Sora's pout could be felt in the air as Kairi tried to take back her words.

"No! Sora! It's not like that, I-"

The girl from his childhood was cut off as Sora's voice entered her mind yet again.

"Look, it's fine. Whatever." She could just SEE him sulking. "It's not like Selphie even remembered I existed…so I guess this is a step up."

Kairi felt really bad. Really, REALLY bad. "I didn't mean to forget your name Sora….hey, look. I remembered it now. Right?"

There was an awkward silence. "Um, guys?" Roxas's voice entered timidly.

"Could you uh….get out of my head? I need to land soon…"

"Oh, right. Sorry!" Sora replied earnestly. " Kairi, it's fine. I mean, I just stabbed myself with a keyblade for you and promised to find you again from another world, but no biggie."

"SORA!"

"See you later Kairi… Ready to go Riku?" Sora said with a smile in his voice.

"Haha, you bet I am. Come with me Sora. Later Kairi. Roxas." The silver-haired young man (mini-Kadaj) answered.

"……" Kairi didn't know what to say.

Roxas tried to help out. "Well, I'M not gay…if you…uh.." Kairi cut him off angrily.

"Yes. Yes you are. Now finish falling so you can land and find Axel. And beat him with a glowing blue bat! Hump!" She stormed off and the telepathic conference call ended.

---

B-n-W-S: So yup, more where that came from. Reviews are love! Even if it's just to tell me what you had for breakfast!

And I'm sorry, butI couldn't help myself...anyone spot my horrible perverted reference? Forgive. I blame my friends. And Mufasa. Because I can.


	2. Addiction is antiplot

**Spoilers**: None. Unless you didn't know of the blue ice-cream phenomenon in KH2, Oh, wait. Oops.

Pairings: SoraxRiku

Disclaimer: Maybe if she puts me in her will, but until then I own nothing related to Kingdom Hearts, or Disney…in fact. I don't own much of anything.

/lalalaalalalalalookimtoolazytoputaproperbreakhereareyouseriouslyreadingthis/

Riku looked at Sora and laughed. He took his thumb and wiped off the brunette's mouth.

"You've got it all over you."

"Well excuse me!" Sora answered attempting to sound indignant but ending up sound cute. Like always. "It's not my fault it's so sticky…"

"…and yummy?"

" And just plain addictive…" They smiled at each other.

"Oh…" Riku looked at Sora's face again. "There's some more…."

Sora wiped his face with his free-hand. "Where?"

Riku smirked and leaned in, licking Sora's cheek. "I got it for you…"

Sora turned a funny shade of red and dropped his ice-cream in surprise. Riku just laughed again.

"It's not funny!" Sora pouted. "Now you have to go buy me another….they're so dang addictive..." he pointed to the pale blue ice-cream now melting next to where he sat.

"You know…" Riku looked at the ice-cream.

"What?" Sora tilted his head in interest.

"Ice-cream shouldn't show up so much in a game…do you think it's laced with something?"

Sora's eyes widened. "You mean Roxas and his friends are crack addicts? And the money you earn in the beginning is really for this?"

Riku nodded solemnly. "Yes, and there's something else too…"

Sora grabbed one of Riku's arms and looked into his eyes.

"What! What else is there!"

Riku inhaled deeply and looked out over the town from the top of the tower where they sat. "We're not IN this scene. This is all Roxas and crew. We're not even in this part of the game yet…."

Sora thought about it. "Oh yeah…..hmmmm….want more ice-cream?" Riku nodded and smiled. The ice-cream was really dang good, plot holes be damned.

--

B-n-W-S: Yeah so…um. How's the weather? Sorry my brain has AP US..er..ADD? It's not a dirty fic at all, get your homeless mind out of the gutter.


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